Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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