I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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