My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
