They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
