he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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