She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
