i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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