The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
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