RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the day after is always just damage control
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
