I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize