You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Also, beer. Big fan.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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