We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I puked a lego.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
