Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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