whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
