forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
