Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

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(207): View more from Maine

I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.

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(407): View more from Florida

That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!

(386): View more from Florida

Gravity is no match for my libido

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(678): View more from Georgia

You is good. You is important. You is a slut.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.

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(206): View more from Washington

She's going to hate me

(425): View more from Washington

Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.

(425): View more from Washington

The rest will just start to agree

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(416): View more from Toronto

so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness

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(807): View more from Ontario

I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..

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(703): View more from Virginia

Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself

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