covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
