so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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