and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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