I want to make a zoo with you.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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