big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
