I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
