lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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