i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
