420 ftw
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i will never coherently bang her
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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