the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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