There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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