I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
