I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
