my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
