PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
