So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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