Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
