So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
