Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
