I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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