Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
