Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
