I cockslap morals
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
