all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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