Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sext me about skeletons
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
