Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
