If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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