i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
