My liver just broke up with me...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Can I color on your dick again?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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