in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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