Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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