so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
