Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize