I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize