Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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