I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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