You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
