I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
