I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize