me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
