I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
