I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I booty called her while she was in labor.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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