My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
