too bad you live with your parents still
I just cut my nipple shaving
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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