My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
