last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the day after is always just damage control
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just pee around me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
