i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
