I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
