you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Be still, my beating vagina.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
