I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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