On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
